pass the clippers, please.

today at work, M called me to check in. which she normally does 2-3 times per day.

i filled her in on how our morning was going and thought we were wrapping the conversation up. i can only elaborate so long on 'we've been playing ball, chasing each other around, and reading books'. 

then M says to me, "so, over the weekend C's mom (who wears acrylic nails) was here and i couldn't stop thinking about the germs that live under long-ish fingernails. i know you like to keep your nails a little longer and i know you're a clean person and wash your hands regularly b

ut i just can't help to think that there are germs under them that that get passed to little C's food and such.. so, i'm wondering if you could cut your nails and keep them short." insert my jaw dropping and trying as hard as i can to not laugh uncontrollably. 

i laughed a little and said, "what?" as in did you SERIOUSLY just say that whole schpeel? i changed the subject.

she then proceeded to tell me that she does

n't want C's mom to bring over her grandkids that are visiting from out of state. i asked why.. and later wished i hadn't. another dumb moment. but here goes.

she said, "i had nightmares all night last night that the kids came to visit and they were kissing little C on the mouth(which she tells me literally almost daily is a huge 'no-no') and giving him all kinds of germs. then, they were hugging him and squeezed him so tightly that his guts squished out and they pulled his limbs off. i had to leave work to meet you and little C at the hospital. it was horrifying." you really just said this out loud. you really did. and i'm laughing at you.

i've never encountered someone who is so ter

rified of germs and sickness. it's not like in a sad O.C.D. way. it's just in a crazy, neurotic, creepy way. kids need germs to build up their immune systems! it's not a bad thing! wait until he starts going to school..

more to come!