Wednesday, December 31, 2008

lead poisoning!

a few months ago i got to work and noticed that in sporadic spots across the front of their house the paint had been chipped away, and then covered up with white primer. their rental house color is a tannish, it was clearly noticeable.

i walked in and C said, "the outside of our house is painted with LEAD PAINT!" i didn't really know how to respond.. i think a lot of older houses are indeed painted with lead paint. and i'm sure that it being a rental, they had to sign something that acknowledged that.

i asked what made him decide to test it. he said that he was at the hardware store and saw a lead paint test kit and decided to try it. ok. fair enough. the inside paint, however, is not lead based.

then C and M both told me that they are terrified that little C has now got lead poisoning. really? i said that i don't think the little man has been eating paint chips. and there is no yard outside so we never spend any outside time there. i'm sure he's fine. 

C got on the phone right at 9, when their doctor's office opens, and made an appointment for the babe to go in THAT VERY DAY to have his blood checked. 

ok, so i'm sure that finding out your house has lead paint is probably a bit scary. but honestly, the child has not been eating/snorting/touching/licking the outside of the house. that's just gross and dirty. 

M told me that whenever the maintenance people come around to trim the bushes and tidy up the beauty bark, they also use a leaf blower to clean up their mess and that right there, that act that's done about twice a year, probably spreads around all the paint dust that would cause lead poisoning.

at this point i'm just trying not to laugh and tell them how completely ridiculous this all sounds.

she also went on to tell me that if/when the yard maintenance people DO come, i am to close up all the windows and doors and not go outside until well after they've left and the dust has settled. sweet! i love being on lockdown! 

little C has his blood tested that afternoon as planned. the results came back that his level was a 2.6 and they don't begin to be alarmed until it's a 10. but C and M were literally convinced that this child had lead poisoning. even tho he was showing no symptoms. they even tossed around the idea that if he did infact have lead poisoning, that was why he wasn't sleeping through the night.. seriously?

i was of course told daily for the rest of the summer that we are not to play outside there. only at the park or other safe places. gee, but i really love sitting on a slab of concrete in the direct sun with your infant child. damn. guess i can't do that anymore. as if did that regularly...?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

merry christmas!

merry christmas everyone!
hope you all survive this crazy winter weather 
and have the greatest of times with your loved ones!

Friday, December 19, 2008

kissing is gross.

as i mentioned in another post, i'm told on a daily basis that we do NOT kiss little C on the mouth. C and M don't even do that. to their own kid. awkward..? 

the little man is really into cat toys at the current time. understandable, they've got all kinds of strings and bells and whistles. plus, he loves watching the cats react to them. it's pretty cute, i'll admit, and i'm not even into cats.

there is one cat toy in particular that he really enjoys. it's a long plastic wand-like thing that has a string attached to the end. attached to the string is some cuckoo feather contraption that the cats go crazy for. little C really enjoys putting the string in his mouth and pulling it back and forth. maybe it feels funny on his little tongue? not sure. so he'd been doing that rather a lot one day and i was finally like, "dude, we gotta stop. you've got red marks on the corners of your mouth." he was pissed, naturally, but he got over it.

the next morning i got to work and M is looking rather frantic/depressed/freaking out. i asked what was wrong and she picked up the babe and said, "look at his mouth. i think he's got a cold sore. a herpe! is that what it looks like to you?" i tried to look but seriously, what kid likes to be poked and prodded at? he wouldn't let me look closely but from what i could see, it didn't appear to be a cold sore to me. i've had plenty in my day. 

i asked if either of them had had one recently, that he could've contracted it from. M said she's never had one and C said he hasn't had one in years. they then looked to me and asked if i had one. i said no, that i hadn't had one in months. trust me, when i get one, you can probably see it from space it gets so big. true story. and obviously i'm aware of how contagious they are and wouldn't even think to get near his mouth when i had one. duh. i mentioned that to C and he told me that "the book" said they can be transfered even when not having an outbreak. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! this is not the genital herpes strain! they are different! and i said exactly that to him.

the whole morning while they were getting ready to leave, M just had that same look of devastation on her face. as though the world were ending if her son had a cold sore on his damn lip. 

she called me about two hours after she'd been gone to ask how the little guy was doing. was he running a fever? did he seem dazed? was he his normal self? i said, "M, he is fine. there is nothing wrong with him." she then said, "you know, he was playing with that cat toy last night and pulling the rope through his mouth. do you think it could just be raw from that?" meanwhile, i had totally spaced that whole scenario from the day before. oops!

a light went off in my head and i said, "omg. that's totally it! he was playing with that thing most of the day yesterday!" 

she laughed it off, like it was hilarious that she'd all but outright accused me of giving her son a cold sore and was thankful it was just a minor skin irritation. she reminded me to: wash my hands plenty today and keep the vaseline piled on it so it won't get dry and cracked. 

i love my job. i love my job. i love my job.

'tis the season for sickness.

last week i got to work and hadn't even made it in the door yet before C started reaming me about them being sick. literally, the door wasn't even closed behind me.

he went off on me that their jobs are suffering and they're not sleeping so they're not getting better. he said that M feels like she's going to get fired because her performance is lacking. i'm just standing there looking at him with a look that says 'am i on candid camera? is this a joke?' he continued on to say that i'm not allowed to take little C anywhere that sick people are. no library, no children's museum, no play groups. nothing. alright.. so this is going to be a fun winter! 

thursday rolled around, a day that we normally go to story time at the library. basically, it's a saving grace for adults who spend all day with kids because you get to interact with other adults. if only for half an hour! i asked if we were seriously banned from there. praying he was calmed down enough and would say we could go. 

he huffed around for a few minutes and then finally said to me, "you can take him. but i need you to seriously understand that i want his hands purelled every five minutes. we can't keep getting sick like this. i'm not kidding either. use the whole bottle of purell if you need to." i laughed. out loud. to him. i said, "C, just wait until he is in school. he's going to be sick all the time. a little cold isn't the end of the world, tho." seriously. there are millions of people in this world who are WAY more sick than just a common cold. we'll survive. sure, we feel like shit when it hits but it'll pass.

we went to the library. i forgot the purell. oops. bad nanny. i washed his hands with soap. does that count for something? 

Thursday, December 18, 2008


today i got to work and C said that he was working from home today. ugh. when he "works" from home, it usually consists of him playing with little C for most of the day. which makes it seem pointless for me to be there. those are not my favorite days.

he left to go take M to work and returned home a little while later with a brand new brita water pitcher. i thought it was weird since they have this fancy pants filter on their kitchen and bathroom sinks, as well as in their shower. i asked what it was for. 

C said that it was to keep downstairs for when he gives the cats fresh water. really? you just spent close to $30 on a water pitcher FOR YOUR CATS?! we live in a city where it's plenty ok to drink the tap water. your cats are not going to be harmed from tap water!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

christmas time.

today M asked me to stay after work and help her with a project she wants to do for C for a christmas gift.

she wanted to dip little C's feet in paint and have him walk across this giant paper. very cute. 

so, we did it and it didn't turn out "perfect" but she decided it would do.

then she said, "ok, let me get the cats and have them do the same." the cats?! you're going to go ruin this cool piece by putting your cat's paws on it? but, she insisted since they were their "first babies". she wrangled up the cats and they were, of course, pissed and didn't want to do it. 

it ended up ruining the whole thing and we had to redo little C's original work. it looked really great, not perfect but scattered and fun. like something a child would actually do. she's having serious anxiety that it's not perfect and is really upset that it didn't work out with the cats paws..

babies aren't made to ride in cars.

when i started my job, a year ago, C and M said they didn't want me to drive with little C. i thought it was a little bizarre; i've got plenty of experience haulin' kids around and a perfect driving record.

over the summer i asked on two different occasions if the timing was right, was i allowed to drive with the little man now. of course, i got told no. that there wasn't really any necessary reason for it. we could take the dirty city transportation or stick to places that are within walking distance. we've taken public transit plenty of times but seriously, it's not really super convenient with a baby and all the gear that comes along with it. there are places that aren't easily accessible that are great for kids and i'd love to take him to but no, not an option.

so a couple of weeks ago, M said to me--totally out of the blue--that she wanted to speak to C about me being able to drive on the job. GASP! sa-weet! clearly she talked to him about it that very night and in the morning, he said to me. "so, i'm not really open to you driving with little C. i don't think you 'need' to go to those places that aren't easily accessible. he's still too young to really grasp that stuff anyways. plus, it's all over priced." insert major letdown face here. he went on to say, "i'm just not a fan of babies riding in cars in general. i don't think it's necessary. i think it's way too dangerous for such a young, precious life." seriously?! PEOPLE RIDE IN CARS EVERYDAY!!!! yes, i know tragic accidents do occur. but come on! let your child experience some stuff! 

here are a few things we miss out on..
-play groups with other kids and nannies.
-fun, kid oriented places that are out of our "safety zone".
-lots of other fun stuff.

M had to be at the airport one morning that C had a business meeting. i offered to drive her, with the babe, so that C wouldn't have to cancel/reschedule his meeting. he looked at me like i was asking him to donate his last kidney to me. seriously. it was a look of shock and disgust. he, rudely, said, "no, that's fine. i'd rather just reschedule than have you drive with little C." ARE YOU KIDDING! maybe he could've just said, "oh, no thanks. but thanks for offering." but no, apparently the option of being rude was much more appropriate. 

so, we are stuck with limited options on outings. and super time consuming trips when we decide to take public transit. it takes us 50 minutes to get to the zoo. a trip that, when driving from their house, should take about 15 minutes. of course, when we DO use public transit, i'm reminded about 37 times to: sanitize my hands, not let any strangers touch little C, if there are bums on the tram/bus, steer as far away from them as possible, and never let the little man touch anything on the tram. really? i thought it'd be fun to pass the baby around for all the transients to hold and cough on. i guess i'll save that for another trip.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

pass the clippers, please.

today at work, M called me to check in. which she normally does 2-3 times per day.

i filled her in on how our morning was going and thought we were wrapping the conversation up. i can only elaborate so long on 'we've been playing ball, chasing each other around, and reading books'. 

then M says to me, "so, over the weekend C's mom (who wears acrylic nails) was here and i couldn't stop thinking about the germs that live under long-ish fingernails. i know you like to keep your nails a little longer and i know you're a clean person and wash your hands regularly b
ut i just can't help to think that there are germs under them that that get passed to little C's food and such.. so, i'm wondering if you could cut your nails and keep them short." insert my jaw dropping and trying as hard as i can to not laugh uncontrollably. 

i laughed a little and said, "what?" as in did you SERIOUSLY just say that whole schpeel? i changed the subject.

she then proceeded to tell me that she does
n't want C's mom to bring over her grandkids that are visiting from out of state. i asked why.. and later wished i hadn't. another dumb moment. but here goes.

she said, "i had nightmares all night last night that the kids came to visit and they were kissing little C on the mouth(which she tells me literally almost daily is a huge 'no-no') and giving him all kinds of germs. then, they were hugging him and squeezed him so tightly that his guts squished out and they pulled his limbs off. i had to leave work to meet you and little C at the hospital. it was horrifying." you really just said this out loud. you really did. and i'm laughing at you.

i've never encountered someone who is so ter
rified of germs and sickness. it's not like in a sad O.C.D. way. it's just in a crazy, neurotic, creepy way. kids need germs to build up their immune systems! it's not a bad thing! wait until he starts going to school..

more to come!

here i go!

i'm starting this blog as a place to vent and dish all the daily 'encounters' i have with being a nanny. there are more than enough!

i've been a nanny for just over four years now and i don't think i've ever encountered such a crazy family. ever. i've been working for them for a year now and just within the past four months-ish is when the true cuckoo-ness has begun. 

let me just set you up a bit..
family of three, first baby (maybe that's why they're so neurotic?), and 2 cats. who are treated almost as children. red flag right there: they're obsessed with their cats. dad, who we'll call C, is self-employed and often works from home. mom, M, works out of the home but wishes she didn't. baby, little C, is currently 15 months, i've been with him since he was a tiny little three monther. 

so, here goes. hope you're ready for some good entertainment!
thanks for reading!